How to detect Balkan people in your Neighbourhood
There are travelers that visit a foreign country and leave at least one feature to be remembered for. Then, there are travelers who always give their best and make sure that the host will never, ever forget them. Yes, I’m talking about Balkan people! And here’s a list to help you detect us! If you want to detect this kind of exciting, fun and (sometimes excessively) spontaneous Balkan human, follow the topics of conversation within the group of your newly met friends in the bar. Where there are loud laughter and the word “politics,” there are the Balkan people.
You’ll notice that they all laugh at the jokes, although they speak different languages (yes, we understand our languages and have similar tastes in humor). We just love to drink rakija and talk about politics. Once we come to a conclusion (that our governments aren’t worth the time), we just continue to drink. Cheers!
They are loud as hell
If you’re out on the street and a group of people is loud, don’t worry – It’s just the Balkan people being spontaneous and having a conversation! Even when it’s quiet, we speak loud. We tend to talk all at the same time, so when more than two people together – know that the Balkan “hassle” begins. No, we don’t fight for real, we just try to be heard. And understood. And…Well OK, we’re just not used to bother what others think about us…Until someone criticizes us.
They love to over-eat themselves
We love to eat. A lot. No, we’re not ashamed of it. Yes, we are gourmands and that aggressive one – When we see food, we attack it as Vikings! So, if you see a group of people in a hotel waiting in line to reach the buffet, be sure that there is another group in front of them and it’s coming from the Balkans and they are taking the food away. Hurry up! If you don’t believe us, come and visit any of our countries. You will enjoy a gourmet hospitality.
They are pretty vibrant in public
Imagine that you’re at the beach, tanning or chilling under a sun umbrella. Suddenly, you felt nothing…you felt the icy drops on your body and you heard child’s scream accompanied by an adult voice. Red alert! Red alert! I’m joking, that’s just a child playing around and his mom running after him (she’s loud because she’s 100 meters behind him and she can’t stop him). Don’t worry, it’s an everyday situation…At least for us.
Slavic expats join clans
When Balkan people meet in a foreign country, they instantly become friends and arrange Balkan parties. You’re invited too – as long as you’re prepared to listen to Balkan music, drink rakija and vino (wine), play board games (oh yep, they include a lot of drinking) and hug everyone after the second glass of rakija! And yes, you can be sure that you’re among Balkan party if you hear them name each other “Brat” or any other form of the word (Braco, Brate etc.)
If you’ve met a new friend or a tourist asking you for directions, and that person interrupts you while you’re explaining by saying: “Sorry, my cell phone is ringing. That must be my mom,” be 200% sure that your new acquaintance is from our
Balkans. No matter how old are we, our mom will call to check on us after she heard about the earthquake…that happened in Japan. Three days ago. So what? She needed an excuse to call her child.
Food on air flights
If you’re at the airport waiting for security control, know that there’s a big chance that a tourist from Balkan has been stopped. And you think: “Oh God, protect me. What are they hiding? Arms, drugs?” Hahaha, no! We have the habit of taking some “small” packages of food for our friends and cousins. Interested in what we’re bringing with us? Few jars of Ajvar, cheese, homemade cookies, Turkish coffee and…Uhm, that would be all.
So, could you handle Balkanians in your neighborhood?
Published in Slavorum